Fast Swims Tell the Tale in Austin

Fast Swims Tell the Tale in Austin

By Chase McFadden//Contributor  | Sunday, March 31, 2019

Swims at these NCAA Championships have been fast. Historically fast. Cray cray fast.

The meet fired up with three-time defending champion Texas blazing a new American record in the 800 yard freestyle relay, and the pool in Austin has been smoking ever since.

To put it in proper context, these NCAA swims have been...

 

… faster than the term cray cray becoming so two-seconds-ago.

 

… faster than Townley Haas galloping into a dusty, one-horse town astride his trusted steed Nadando to face off against the bandit Three-Thumb Bart because Townley Haas totally sounds like the name of a hero sheriff in a black-and-white 1940s western film.

 

… faster than gobbling up 2 gigs of data streaming Off the Blocks.

 

… faster than Caeleb Dressel fleeing from a pair of chomping gators named Albert and Alberta that are fleeing from a chomping Gator named Elizabeth Beisel.**

 

… faster than Cody Miller posting a vlog.

 

… faster than Usain Bolt-ing out of a movie theater halfway through Jordan Peele’s Us with a major case of the heebie-jeebies.

 

… faster than Aquaman riding a sea dragon to the other side of Atlantis for 50¢ wings at the Krusty Krab.

 

… faster than Rowdy Gaines excitedly describing how fast these NCAA swims have been.

 

**But not quite as fast as Caeleb Dressel swimming the 50-yard free.


 

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