7 Lesser-Known Benefits of a Chlorine Obsession

7 Lesser-Known Benefits of a Chlorine Obsession

By Chase McFadden//Contributor  | Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Some obsessions are healthier than others. Keeping your toenail clippings in a plastic baggy stuffed under your pillow? Gross. Strolling through the mall accompanied by Mr. Cliffensnuff -- your faded, tattered comfort blankie from when you were a three-year-old? Awkward. But a chlorine obsession is different. It leads to improved health and stronger friendships, as well as these seven lesser-known benefits.

  • Every day is National Shriveled-Up-Like-A-Prune Day.
  • Ingesting enough calories at each meal to satisfy the appetites of five burly lumberjacks is perfectly reasonable.
  • Swimming is a socially-acceptable opportunity to wear goggles, pacifying your deep-seated desire to look like a Minion. (BTW, denim overalls make for a highly-effective drag suit.)
  • Leads to heightened levels of self-worth, self-confidence and rad self-selfies.
  • All bodies of water -- including the Arctic Ocean – feel positively balmy compared to a practice pool at 5 a.m.
  • Screaming “Kick! Kick! Kick!” while manically waving your arms above your head as though you’re attempting to fend off an invisible horde of testy wasps is viewed as completely-sane behavior.
  • Frizzy, tangled, chemical-fried hair is totally in this year.

 

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